I've got to be me, but how?

I am struggling with all I've lost. December 7/8, 2007, I lost my entire family~not my family of origin, but my family. I really liked who I was with Christopher; he brought out a lot of the best in me.

It had to have been in me for Christopher have brought it out of me, right? It must still be there, but I don't know how to get at that part of me all alone. I miss who I was with Christopher and I want her back. I've never been that person alone. I see glimpses of her when I am with other people, but when I am home alone, she seems miles away.

That really bothers me, but I don't know what to do about it. I am not really sure that before Christopher, I was ever really happy with myself and now that he is gone, I don't know how to be the me that Chrsitopher brought out.